So it seems that, as human beings, our sense of self is formed through identifying with a mass of little ‘thought knots’, of energetic kinks twists and shapings.
One little thought, ‘i’, links out to many other thoughts about ‘me’. By giving these thoughts our attention as being particular to – and definitional of – ourselvelves they become beliefs… and so the knots tighten and seem more solid.
This constructed, conditioned, false, sense of self appears to be the natural, only and inevitable ground for our behaviours…but this is a movement within the mind, identifying with movement, and linking/ knotting together. And if we act with that as the basis – with a solid real sense of ‘I’ as something separate, disconnected from the rest – then one effect of this karmic activity will be to re-inforce these beliefs.
To untie a knot usually you have to loosen it… the space within and without the knot allows for this…then you can see how the loops have overlapped and gently tease them apart.
As a child I spent hours untying the knots in the line on my father’s fishing reels, sometimes working pins into them to get some movement and open them up a bit. When these knots were released the stretching and tension in the line had often caused kinks around which new knots would form, either during the untangling or when the line was next cast.
However the dharma truth is that in the spaciousness of awareness, unlike knots in fishing line, karmically generated knots can untie themselves…completely.
When Alexander the great was starting his ‘career’ he needed to win an initial battle to give his troops confidence. Nearby was the town of Gordia and there was a prophecy that whomsoever could undo the ‘Gordian knot’ would have victory over all of Asia. Alexander saw this as key to his future success but the knot was incredibly complicated – formed from a number of knots with the ends tucked inside. It had been created by King Gordius a hundred years previously, in honour of Zeus, and it bound together the shaft and the yoke of the ox–cart in which Gordius had travelled into the city (a prerequisite to fulfilling the prophecy of Zeus and being recognised as the next ruler).
In one version of this story, Alexander struggled for some time at the side of the ox-cart trying to undo this knot then, in frustration at being thwarted, he just drew his sword and cut right through it.
I used to think he cheated…but it did the job!
In another version, he simply pulled out a lynchpin running through the yoke, thus loosening the knot sufficiently for him to tease it apart.
Either way he went on from there to win the first of many battles!
In dharma terms cutting through the knot could be likened to sudden enlightenment; removing the pin to a direct introduction to the nature of the mind – You have suddenly changed address (as the Maltese say of the deceased) and yet the heart is still beating.
There are practices for liberation from the false sense of identity – the investigative work around the question of who we really are, beyond the stories we and others hold about ourselves, loosens the grip on the knots. The absorption of light, dissolving into light, and concentrated diminution of that light into the emptiness of the dharmadatu releases the attachment to a sense of solidity..and the three ‘A’ meditation releases the knottiness into infinite space.
This process is likened, in Tibet, to pulling a hair out of a pat of butter. If the pat of butter is very cold this is impossible to do but, by massaging in the warmth of the dharma, the pat softens… and then, with gentle but firm ongoing effort it is possible. Having the curiosity to look at our selves is essential but looking in a very kindly way for otherwise we won’t do it. We won’t want to look to see what we are up to if we think we are going to be revealed to ourselves as the ‘Bad One’, nor will we bother if we think we are already the ‘Good One’ – we’ll prefer a distraction to finding our true self.
If we know for sure, either from experience or because we have faith that the teachers know what they’re talking about, that actually there is no ‘Bad One’ to be found, then we can gently proceed with the process of revelation. Unlike with unwrapping an Egyptian “mummy” the result will not disappoint – lightness, flexibility, humour for starters
And once the unchanging ground of all is known, the knotted up–tight ego-self is revealed as a limiting fixation which softens to a function, not a big issue, as the previous reliance upon it for definition is relaxed.
The thoughts relating to that ‘structure’ go free and the knots unravel…deconstructing the ‘me-self-knot nut–house!’ .